These arms ache,
they cry out,
My stomach pains ,
hells demons claim,
and I cannot keep my aim-
on life.
A cemetery
is not a place of death
but a place of rest
for gentle goodbyes
and white rose petals,
a bed of memories I wish to lay in,
A house of cards
And your Blue face,
I really just want to race
Through time and space,
but my bodies fragile and wouldn't last,
hells pit is opening and I am damned,
Determined to suffer instead of drowning in a pool of love,
oh where oh where
is my white dove?
After reading the Keats "Endymion" that someone posted… I'm wondering… are you reading that too for another class Lina? There's a sonnet in iambics somehow embedded, embowered in this good writing. :) —kw
ReplyDeleteI remember hearing this poem in class. I do like it. I wish I could hear it read out loud again. I don't quite follow it in my head, but that's not a bad thing, just thought I might give you my feedback. I like that there is so much subtext in this poem, and so much in the metaphor of stomach pains. I read this poem several times, and still feel like I coul read it again.
ReplyDeleteI like it too
ReplyDeleteGreat use of rhyme in this poem it gives it a certain flow! Gotta say though I really liked the first four stanza but the last one lost me :/ I felt this line "Determined to suffer instead of drowning in a pool of love," was really awkward and sadly I don't get the ending
ReplyDeleteThank you all for the comments! I know it's late but if you'd like I could elaborate :) Just comment and I will reply as soon as I can.
ReplyDelete