Welcome poets! Here's the place to post your own poems and poems you love as well as poetry links, events, and about poetry books—and to appreciate one another's work. See you in class this quarter… and see you here!
Monday, May 18, 2015
Witnessing California
Feather friend on the water Ripple tings from spot to spot Clay red earth that I should not be seeing it disappears much too low ripple tings, the pond weeps.
Really like this and the whole aesthetic approach behind it. You look for concision in a poem—you want it to launch you into some mood and insight with its gaze. In this case, the drought is behind the poem, of course. You use a kind of strange auditory image there, the "ripple rings"—and save the emotion for the surprise last word. Have you read poets like Gary Snyder, Jean Follain? Charles Wright from China Trace? Rexroth's translations of Japanese and Chinese poetry? I'm also reminded of TANKA. Here, I'd probably name the bird. I'll share with you some poems I've written about sea-birds in our conference. Keep up the great work. You are such a good poet. —kw
I read this poem twice, as I did all of the latest ones. I loved it, but was not sure what to say about it other than that. I know we are supposed to give each other feedback, but that is really all that I can say for now.
Really like this and the whole aesthetic approach behind it. You look for concision in a poem—you want it to launch you into some mood and insight with its gaze. In this case, the drought is behind the poem, of course. You use a kind of strange auditory image there, the "ripple rings"—and save the emotion for the surprise last word. Have you read poets like Gary Snyder, Jean Follain? Charles Wright from China Trace? Rexroth's translations of Japanese and Chinese poetry? I'm also reminded of TANKA. Here, I'd probably name the bird. I'll share with you some poems I've written about sea-birds in our conference. Keep up the great work. You are such a good poet. —kw
ReplyDeleteI read this poem twice, as I did all of the latest ones. I loved it, but was not sure what to say about it other than that. I know we are supposed to give each other feedback, but that is really all that I can say for now.
ReplyDelete