Bits of mighty tree
that send me soaring and piercing through the air
and over concrete, dirt, and what I put my mind to
when we fall, it is only I that feels any pain
but we always end up soaring together
my feet will turn you in any number of ways
you've become what the pen is to he hand
This is such a short, but awesome poem to skateboards. I really enjoy your writing, Henry. I especially appreciate the last line. It's a good way to tie in what a skateboard is to you, and how it's part of you.
ReplyDeleteI always enjoy your writing. I always wondered what it might be like to skateboard. This poem is a cool little window in to that world. I always wanted to know. Does the standing make you feel grounded, more in touch with the earth, or is it just the pure thrill of speed that you feel and like? I love tyour short poems, but I almost want this one to be longer, because I the ending makes me want to take that journey with you.
ReplyDeleteI love your poems so much, Henry. you know I can't say anything in less that 1500 words, I really admire the way you can catch so much in so few words. I think I'm with Casey though, on this one. I'd love just another line or two on what it feels like to be riding. you get us up there, but there needs to be a little more of a ride before landing. %^)
ReplyDeleteGreat poem, though I found a little typo: "you've become what the pen is to he hand"
ReplyDeleteThat should be "you've become what the pen is to THE hand", I think.
I like this, but I feel like it hasn't quite reached it's true potential yet. Found these lines "it is only I that feels any pain" and "and what I put my mind to" awkward so maybe rephrase? And I agree with Barb and Casey a few more lines would be nice, maybe something to evoke a little more feeling/relate-ability? Just because I feel like it ends just when you're starting to get into it. Also, I can't skateboard and have always wondered what it's like so like Casey said it makes me "want to take that journey with you."
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