Sunday, June 14, 2015

The Rim

Thank you for any comments! They are greatly appreciated! :)

The Rim

Itchy black hat shields my vision
Forcing my eyes to drag a cursory glance Traveling
Up Tan Cargo Pants Drinking
In Blue and White Plaid Wincing
As even teeth glint
Dimples Wink At
Mine Until
 I meet eyes that echo The
 Shout in mine
Beautiful!”

Botticelli’s Venus Locks cushion
My hearing
Of Sound Waves Of
Rich laughter, Strong
Voice Rippling
 Toward pink conch shell ears
 Who are you?”

An ill-fitting uniform disguises My
Full body blush
As each inch of naked skin feels another As
Long slim fingers that mirror mine Caress
The dimples on my back Four
High tops sloppily kiss As
 We twirl in our friendly embrace
It’s nice to see you again…

Imported Coffee beans Perfume
Masking my nervous sweat
Smelling instead Chai
Tea Lattes,
Americanos Nuzzling
My neck for a caffeine fix
Take a shot with me…

My brain houses Neruda,
Cady-Stanton
Whispering of Self-Sufficiency and Romance Down
A synapse, Marvin’s singing “Only love can conquer hate…” Phobos
Freezes time in Neruda’s room:
Always Half-past a Break Up and a Quarter to Giving Up

Smoothing out my white shirt, blue coat I
 Order A Carmel Macchiato with
One ice cube in it Milk
 Steams screeching Distracting
Dull textbook reading Familiar
Chucks greet my cursory glance Dragging
 Up to eyes that echo the whisper in mine
Beautifully Flawed…
Its nice to see you again…” Marvin’s crooning
I’ve been trying to fight this feeling for so long…” The
Ice cube melts…Kissing

The rim…

6 comments:

  1. oh ashley, i REALLY like this! I like the way you did the capitalizing on the ends of some of the lines, it communicates an awkwardness and slightly off-kilter vibe, which fits perfectly with the subject of the poem, and the whole thing just works so well! I read it several times.

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    1. That is quite a compliment coming from you! Thank you so much! You always make me feel so great about my writing! :D

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    2. awww! well, the admiration runs both ways, then! %^)

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  2. She is right. At first I wasn't quite sure what to think, even though I loved the lines. Now that she mentioned it, it's true. You really take your reader on that experience with you.

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    1. Thanks Casey! I really appreciate the feedback! :D

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  3. Agree with Barb and Casey on this one… love how you capture a dizzy moment.. the full richness of it. I'm still contemplating the title… I'd brainstorm about 30 titles… :)
    Good work, Ashley !

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