The gray pelt, speckled and striped with black
Catches my eye
As its owner lopes along the sills and eaves
To its high place,
Its watchtower crow’s nest where it sits
And winds its tail around its feet
And stares with solemn certainty at the world below
him,
The empty street
Where only leaves stir and dappled sunlight dances
‘till the shadows grow
And all the colors bleed themselves to gray
And the dusk takes the sky
And through the new night, that still-silent specter
watches
The machinations of life unfold
All through the night, that gray gargoyle cat
observes the world,
And I observe him.
As much as I dislike cats this is a nice and spooky poem!
ReplyDeleteI like this poem a lot. I'm not really sure why you used the word pelt, because that to me sounds like the cat is dead, but then you describe him as sitting, so you know he is alive. It is a style choic of course. I love the last verse. I almost wish you would have let out cat in the phrase gargoyle cat. I like that description on its own. It is a dark poem, but also very unique in diction, form, and I love the way you let the last line be its own section. That gives the poem power.
ReplyDelete@Joel, how could you? :]
I like this poem very much, and i LOVE this:
ReplyDelete"The empty street
Where only leaves stir and dappled sunlight dances
‘till the shadows grow
And all the colors bleed themselves to gray"
SO MUCH. I wish i'd written that.
I have just a couple of thoughts. I think instead of "still-silent", maybe use ever-silent, or always-silent, something that sounds more final. concrete. gargoyle-ish. and I wonder if there are a couple too many "its", i know you're doing it on purpose and i think it works, but maybe one less, "its watchtower crows nest…" line sounds better to my ear if you make it "the watchtower…", it makes the rest of the its sound more impactful. and finally, i might play around with the spacing on the last two lines, maybe a tab between "the machinations of life unfold" and "all through…", and another tab (as it is) before "and I observe him"? so both those lines stand out? or the last two lines together, with the space above that? just my .02, but i assure you, i like it very much. otherwise i wouldn't ponder on it long enough to notice minor quibbles! ;^)
Yes, meant to site that part. I like it too!
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant poem. Reminds me of Eliot writing about London.
ReplyDeleteI'd finish it quicker, as follows:
The gray pelt, speckled and striped with black
Catches my eye
As its owner lopes along [the] sills and eaves
To its high place,
Its watchtower crow’s nest where it sits
And winds its tail around its feet
And stares with solemn certainty at the world below [him],
The empty street
Where only leaves stir and dappled sunlight dances
‘till the shadows grow
And all the colors bleed themselves to gray
And [the] dusk takes the sky
And [all] through the new night,
that gray cat, [and I.]